I'm the perfect mother when my kids are happy and well. I cringe and crumble at a cry that lasts more than a minute and am impatient when I'm woken from my sleep. Tonight was no exception.
Not even three hours ago I was gushing about how fortunate I am, how good my kids were today and how I need to remember my fortune. All of that sorta went out of the window tonight when Nathan woke up with gas pains. I couldn't will the patience with that. He screamed for 45 minutes before my mom took him. Now, I think he may be asleep,but not because of me.
I hate that I get frustrated so easily and that sense escapes my body at the drop of a hat. My kids will not grow up to look to me for comfort, but will look for it with their father or almost anyone else. I fear that they will think I don't love them, but that is certainly not the case.