Friday, November 14, 2008

Warning-Gross!

So, I just love the taste of phlegm first thing in the morning, don't you? Well, actually all day. I spoke too soon the other day when I thought I was getting better. I took two steps back the other morning and finally gave in yesterday and went to the doctor when I was seeing the colors of Fall in my tissues. YUCK and OUCH! Thank you sinus infection! Sadly, the antibiotics my doctor prescribed is doing a number on my stomach and it makes me feel like I'm going to puke at any given moment. I'm not sure which is worse, nausea or a ripping pain in my head. Hmm...but how thankful am I that I can go to the doctor and get the medicine I am complaining about!? VERY THANKFUL!

It is another foggy, wet day here. It appears that it might be another quiet and dull day. I'm only happy about this because I am under the weather a bit. Honestly, I am just plain worried about it. I want us to be booming with business, but for now...I wait. I'll spare you my woes of worry for me and all of America right now. It is ugly out there. You know, I know and enough said.

Sydney is supposed to have a playdate tomorrow with a little buddy that used to attend her school. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to visit her. Sydney is such a little social butterfly and very concerned about her family and friends. :) She rubbed my back this morning and told me, "You'll feel better soon, Mommy." How cute! I just want to squish her when she is that sweet. Of course, not five minutes later she was yelling at me. "I want blah blah blah. NOW!" she says. Hmph! That crap doesn't fly with mommy, chick! I certainly can appreciate the urgency in wanting what you want when you want it. We are a very impatient society, aren't we?

I'm really in need of a movie day. Seriously! I want to take an entire day, dress in my pjs, make grilled cheese and watch movies or old re-runs all day, in between naps. Doesn't that sound so nice? Throw some hot chocolate and warm chocolate chip cookies in there and I'm in heaven. Mmmm. I wish Syd would sit still long enough to snuggle and watch A movie. With the Madagascar movie out, we thought we might take her to see it, but two seconds later we came to our senses. It would probably be a huge waste of money and we'd have to leave. It is almost Frosty the Snowman time! She LOVES that movie. We must have watched two hundred times last winter. I'm not kidding.

So, I keep hearing about Christmas shopping this and Christmas shopping that and I just haven't gotten on board yet. I suppose I need to move on that. I guess I just don't feel like Christmas this year, even more so than normal. I feel guilty! There are people out there that don't have jobs and don't know where their next meal will come from, like every year, but it is even more in my face now. I just don't feel like it is wise to spend money right now and I feel helpless. A long time ago, I read an email forward that told a story about an old woman who made a huge Thanksgiving dinner (Christmas too!) and she would go out and bring homeless people back to eat it. A client of ours buys warm clothing and hands it out down town. I think that is just wonderful, both. Not exactly safe, unfortunately, but very sweet. I've often thought about working in a food kitchen on a holiday, but I think my family would have a fit. I think it would be great to raise my children in that environment so that they can see how fortunate they are and how nice it is to help others. I'd actually like to do something on a regular basis, but what?

When I think about where I am in my life and where I am going, I get really upset. Not because I think I'm in a bad place, but because I feel like I should be doing more. I want to feel like I have a purpose other than taking up space. I want to inspire and be inspired by others. I want my children to be kind, wise and compassionate people. I want to give without giving up my limited time with them. How do I get there? What can I do? I love law and still hope to go to law school one day, but until then...? Here's another question...I have this desire to reach out, show my emotion and create, but I'm ridiculously shy! Isn't that something? Go figure. Perhaps this is too heavy for a Friday. :)

Well, before I go on to discuss my religion curiosity, I think I'll leave. :)

I wish you all health, wealth and happiness!

Hugs!
Jess

8 comments:

Angela said...

I do hope you feel better.
Lack of business at my work place was the reason I had to quit my job. I just was not making enough money to afford to keep working. Also my commute one way was over two hours. I was also working in Tysons corner.
Maybe we could get together sometimes and you can work some of the shy out and I can get some adult time.
I also feel the need to do something along those lines but with my husbands schedule and my son’s age It would be hard considering I can not afford any child care.

Well, keep warm

My Wonderful Men said...

Thank for coming by.

Hope you start feeling better.
Amy

Alex Hall said...

Wow, yeah, that's pretty deep for a Friday. Just kidding....we should all be thinking like that more often. :)

As far as giving goes, World Vision has a gift catalog that they send out around this time every year. It's full of things that you can buy for people that are less fortunate (in the U.S. as well as other countries). You can choose from things like fruit trees, a well (or share in a well), animals, immunizations, soccer balls, clothes, schooling, etc. It's great, because with many of the gifts they have teamed up with organizations that make the money go so much farther. You can give the gifts in honor of another person for Christmas.

It's something that we would like to start doing each year, getting together as a family and picking out one gift for us to give. Jesse and I were entertaining the thought of just doing stockings for the kids and purchasing a big family gift from the gift catalog. Christmas is a time that we want our kids to focus on giving to others, not getting. They get what they need (and usually what they want) throughout the year. They are definitely not lacking! Anyways, I think I've gone on long enough! Sorry....I just thought it fit with what you were talking about.

Hope your day goes well!

Ruhiyyih Rose said...

I love your writing here... I hope that you get to feeling 100% soon but in the meantime, also hope that you get a lazy pajama day and that movie! and the grilled cheese. Mmm...that sounds awesome about now.

A weekend is here at last...

Anonymous said...

I deliver meals through the Salvation Army on a holiday. It is done first thing in the morning. It doesn't take an extremely long amount of time and the husband stays home and watches the turkey while I do it. It is usually elderly people that I deliver to. They are so grateful for the meal.

Jess said...

I want a movie day too! Actually, I just want 8 hours of unbroken sleep. I'm not asking for a lot, right?!

Hope you feel better soon.

Courtney said...

Jess,

I struggle with what you have written often. This year my kids are getting a limited amount of gifts (3 or 4 each) and the only reason I have all ready started and am almost done is because I knew what I wanted to get them and I found it on sale.

allie said...

I hear ya! I am constantly trying to find things to do to help. This year I have a couple of giving things going on at work but I want to get more hands on involved. Sorry that you're feeling crappy again, and please take the bus!