Tonight you said regarding the LSAT:
"Maybe if it's causing you so much stress, it's not the time for you to do it...It sounds like you have a great life already. There will be plenty of time for all of this in the future. Enjoy you life, kid(s) and husband in the meantime! You'll never get this time back....life's too short to fill it with things that aren't worth it. "
I absolutely have a great life. In fact, I truly couldn't ask for more. That is not in question. I suppose the question then is, "Is it worth it to pursue my dream?"
I struggled to finish college. It certainly isn't easy going part time and working full time. That is what I had to do to pay my bills and tuition. It was the road I chose and it was a hard one. I had lots of bumps along the way. I had two surgeries and a husband that went to Iraq. Then, we found out we were pregnant with Sydney. I had the worst morning sickness. I cannot tell you how many people told me over and over again to just quit because it would be easier. "You have a good job and a husband with a college degree. What do you care?" They just didn't get it. I had people telling me, "You'll never finish."
I had members of my family tell me that my desire to finish college was simply driven by "materialistic desires." Right! Didn't you know that I'm rich now that I've graduated? PUHLEASE! Very few people got it then and even less get it now. "You've got a degree. Why continue?" There are many reasons, but the biggest for me are:
-I want to show my children that education is important. I don't want to just TELL them it is important. I want to set the example. What is the saying? "Don't talk about it, be about it."
-If anything were to ever happen to Marc, and I pray it never does, I want to be able to support my family. Could I do it without grad school? ABSOLUTELY! There are many people out there that do so many amazing and incredible things with so much less than I have; however, it would just be easier to set myself up for success. Life without Marc would be hard enough for us.
-On a personal level, I'm full of potential. I feel like I have so much more to learn and accomplish. I have a desire to learn and to teach. I hope that one day I will have a positive impact, not only on my family, but my community. I want to inspire others to set goals and to reach them.
Anonymous, if I gave up on everything that caused me stress, I wouldn't have anything in life. Many people wouldn't. If I always chose the path of least resistance, I wouldn't be here today with my wonderful husband and my beautiful daughter. I wouldn't have finished college and I wouldn't even entertain the idea of grad school. I would have had a very very different life. I won't go into it, but you should trust me. I certainly do not think that everyone should choose my path or make their choices in the same fashion. It is a different cookie for everyone.
I question myself every day. If I didn't, I just wouldn't be me. I don't take the decisions in my life lightly. In fact, just the opposite. The bottom line is that, as long as my conditions can be met (i.e. full time school-home with family at night), I'm going for it. Will it be worth it? If my conditions can be met, I believe it is. Life is about balance. I've been juggling for YEARS! I've gotten so good at it. Why stop now? :) I just hope to get the chance to continue.
WOW! I have to thank you for your comment. It forced me into clarity.
Now, Syd's in bed and I'm off to study.