Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Not Necessarily On The Outside!

First, thank you all for posting positive comments about my awful experience this weekend. I really appreciate it. Of course, you are all right. I, hopefully, have many years to reach my goals and I just need to settle down a little.

Now, on to the topic of the day: Sydney and me! :) I was reading blogs this morning, as I often do first thing, and I have been commiserating with my friend, Jess, on how the daddy/daughter relationship can sometimes really suck for the mom. Of course, I am very thankful to have a husband that is so attentive to his family and it can be really sweet to watch Sydney swoon over him; however, it can sometimes be lonely.

I have been talking about this "exclusion" for a while now and I often tell everyone that Sydney is hands down a daddy's girl, which is true. Typically I go a step farther and even mention that she probably wouldn't miss me if I left the room, also mostly true. This morning I started to comment on Jess' blog and realized that Sydney is interested in mommy too. I have just been too blind or stupid to notice.

Sydney has become interested in all things girly of late and she turns to me for answers. Jess, don't fall out of the bed! It is true. Every morning when I get dressed, there is my little baby standing on her step stool next to me at the bathroom sink. She asks about my belly and her little brother. She wants to know what dental floss is and why can't she use it. She wants to try every lotion, cream and soap. She points to my pantyhose curiously and then rubs my legs. She wants to wear my jewelry and shoes. On those rare days I take a few minutes extra to "paint" my face, she has her very own brushes and pretend makeup. I know that if I really want to see a sweet sparkle in her eyes, I can let her use my "lips." Lip gloss is extra special to her. She'll stand at the mirror with a wide grin and say, "I look pretty."

At night, she wants to help cook dinner or carry the groceries. When it is time for bed, she ALWAYS wants mommy to read her stories and of course, we have to peruse the lotions again. She wants to brush her teeth exactly as I do. She'll stand with me and mimic each motion. She giggles when I brush her tongue. Most nights, she'll give me a cute little peck and a "BIG SQUEEZE!" There is more, so much more.

I often claim to be a pretty observant person. Well, I guess that isn't exactly true. Evidently, I've been walking around with blinders on for quite some time. I'm really not as invisible to my daughter as I had thought. She just looks to me for different things. That doesn't mean that I'm not jealous of her admiration for Marc. :) It will now be a little easier to swallow.

Best wishes for a great day!


Tiburon said...

Jess I love the bond between mom and daughter. You hit the nail on the head!
Adding a boy to the mix will be great. :)

Christie said...

OMG - my sweet girls do the same thing when I'm getting ready. In fact, I usually get ready in the morning before I wake them up. Otherwise, it takes me twice as long because I have to "make them up" too. I don't mind, unless of course I'm in a hurry, which is most of the time.

Jess said...

Jess, this is so sweet. Ella is also completely fascinated by my make up, tooth-brushing and dental floss. She loves my shoes and jewelry too!

I think in my case it is just because the preference swtich seems so sudden that it has stung a bit. But, she was so happy to see me this morning when she got up and she snuggled in bed with me and gave me lots of kisses- that helped a lot!

Post a new belly pic- I am curious to see how big you are now!

Bonita said...

Forty years ago when I gave birth to my first child men weren't allowed to watch the birth, they never changed a diaper, and I never saw the dad connect with a child on the child's level. That marriage over, and ten years later, I married a man who is completely child-centered, was a fantastic dad (and became a child development specialist). What a difference these two men were, and what different outcomes resulted. I admire Jess's husband Bob, and will continue to admire Marc as he creates bonds with Sydney. I'd encourage all young women to do as you've done - step back and notice what is really going on. There is really some poignancy there, and many 'teachable moments'.