Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Throwing In the Towel

Well, we're all on the mend finally. Syd ended up with an ear infection and I ended up with bronchitis. They also mentioned that my blood pressure is still way too high. So, I'll have to address that soon also. Syd and I are both on antibiotics. Oh how I love the smell of amox.

I'm a terrible mom, but I just don't want to pump anymore! I ended up pumping solely simply because of the anatomical issue and Nathan just wouldn't cope with it. I tried to be yee-haw about it, but after the thrush, cuts (yes, I love my pump), purple mess, constant leaking and 24 days of meds...I'm done. I want to go out without worrying about being home in time to pump. I want to sleep without a bra. I don't want to have to wake up in the middle of the night to pump, even when Nathan is asleep. I know, I know...I'm selfish. Then, I think about my return to work. I tried desperately to pump for Sydney. Even though I have the right, it wasn't exactly acceptable at work. That raises another issue...the return to work. It is right around the corner and I'm torn. I really don't want to go back, but I know I will be fine once I get there.

My hair has started to fall out again. Jess, are you ready? :) I'm hoping I will be able to camouflage it better this time since my hair is long. Oh well, my hair was to thick for me anyway! :) I kept breaking my hair ties.

So that is the latest with me. I'll be spending the week on a disinfecting mission. :) My house was destroyed during the last five days, even more than usual. I hope to send the germs packing. Ick!

I hope you are all happy and well. I hope to have a few minutes to drop in on you while Nathan naps. Keep your fingers crossed! :)

Take care,
Jess

5 comments:

Bonita said...

Don't worry about discontinuing breast-feeding. Main thing: be happy. It is contagious. Good luck, Jess.

100 Percent Cottam said...

you are totally not selfish for giving up the pump!!! mamas get too much flak for that. you did your best - it's fine. he won't suffer because of it.

good luck with disinfection!

rachd said...

No stresses over the pumping, Jess. You gave your son a gift, and now, it's just not practical for you. You know what they say, "If the mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." And, well, Jess, you weren't a happy mama...

Hang in there. I know the dread you are feeling about going back to work. I believe the first month of my blog was dedicated to that very topic.

Courtney said...

Not selfish at all. I wouldn't be able to pump all the time either. At least you tried it!

Jess said...

Happy mom = happy baby. Both times you have gone over and above to try and make it work. No, my hair hasn't started falling out yet but I am expecting it to start in the next few weeks- my hair is short and I know it is going to look horrible for a year until it all grows back in!