Things here, for me, have been rough lately. I have been feeling more isolated as work has slowed and the kids have been challenging me quite a bit these days. Add the layer of Builder stress on top and I'm about cooked.
I've been really questioning my life these last few weeks. How did I get here? Did I do the right thing? Why do my kids seem to do everything I do not want them to do? You know, just a complete waaa party.
Okay. So, today, Sydney tied her shoes by herself for the first time! It may not seem like a huge deal and it was the act of actually doing it, but the look on her face. Her eyes lit up and she laughed with excitement. I was excited too, but at the time, I didn't get it.
This afternoon, I've been plugging away at work. The internet service was down for a few days this week and I'm a bit behind. I am already agitated at that, but then Sydney kept pacing outside the office door and not taking the quiet time. I was even more annoyed and I glared at her. She came in and tried punching keys on the keyboard. Now, I'm really upset. Then, she went to the printer where my documents were printing and said, "Let me get them, Mommy. You are working so hard." Now, I know she is trying to get out of quiet time, but she wants to be with me!!! Then, I remembered the joy on her face when she tied her shoe earlier in the day. That is when I had my AHA moment. THIS is why I left my office, moved my home and changed everything!