Thursday Thursday

Well, it has been months since I posted. I used to be so much better about keeping up with this blog and then, life intervened. Actually, I think I was just tired of hearing myself think. :)

Work is wacko. I'll leave it at that.

Home is buzzing along. We had a snow day today. The kids and Marc were home and we took advantage. After a family shoveling event, we took to the slopes. Well, okay, we took to the small hill next to my house. It was perfect for sledding and we only almost hit the trees once or twice. Maybe more, actually. Despite the small threat of a trunk attack, we had a great time.

The kids were laughing and giggling, which was infectious. I was grinning the entire time we were out. I think it was the most fun I've had in a while and we've been having lots of fun lately. I'm trying to turn over a new page this year. I'm trying to get back my grip on those fleeting moments. It is easy to let things slide by when you are busy with this that and the other.

We've been doing some work in the house. Nearly all of the downstairs has been painted. It will be completed next week. Yay! It is amazing how different it feels now. Yes, even a little bit of paint makes me feel right at home. My sister and Marc installed crown in the dining room, living room and my office. Love it. :) It is so great to have talented family members with amazing hook ups on materials. So fortunate.

Sadly, the house still hasn't sprouted the minions I've been wishing for to clean and cook. I guess I will have to keep wishing. Ahhh...I'm just really starting to care so much less. Choose between-play Operation or mop the kitchen floor. NO BRAINER?! You totally mop the kitchen floor! What?! No, just checking to see if you are still there. We play Operation, which is the current favorite with the kids right now.

Our house has grown a bit, well, we've added members anyway. We have two new frogs, Silvermist and Thomas. They have been hanging out with Clarence since just before Christmas. I love them. They are the best. We have also added our very own wormery. So far things are going along fine. I think they are all still alive. That's good right? We are gearing up for the growing season and my summer plans! Yes, the big grand plan! I'll share later....assuming I can remember.

Tonight, I think I will stalk a bit and hit the hay. There is a two hour delay in the morning and I'm so thankful!

I Got It!

Things here, for me, have been rough lately. I have been feeling more isolated as work has slowed and the kids have been challenging me quite a bit these days. Add the layer of Builder stress on top and I'm about cooked.

I've been really questioning my life these last few weeks. How did I get here? Did I do the right thing? Why do my kids seem to do everything I do not want them to do? You know, just a complete waaa party.

Okay. So, today, Sydney tied her shoes by herself for the first time! It may not seem like a huge deal and it was the act of actually doing it, but the look on her face. Her eyes lit up and she laughed with excitement. I was excited too, but at the time, I didn't get it.

This afternoon, I've been plugging away at work. The internet service was down for a few days this week and I'm a bit behind. I am already agitated at that, but then Sydney kept pacing outside the office door and not taking the quiet time. I was even more annoyed and I glared at her. She came in and tried punching keys on the keyboard. Now, I'm really upset. Then, she went to the printer where my documents were printing and said, "Let me get them, Mommy. You are working so hard." Now, I know she is trying to get out of quiet time, but she wants to be with me!!! Then, I remembered the joy on her face when she tied her shoe earlier in the day. That is when I had my AHA moment. THIS is why I left my office, moved my home and changed everything!

Situation Normal

I can hardly believe it has been two months since I posted! Wow! I am really getting bad at this.

Life is moving along. We've had lots going on and I'm thinking there will not ever be a "quiet" time. I think this is just it. Chaos is normal now.

Sydney is getting ready to start school in a few weeks. I can hardly believe that. Where did the time go? She's been crazy sassy the last several weeks and I'll admit that, once or twice, I was excited at the prospect of Kindergarten. I usually get over it though.

She's doing very well at swim class lately. She's getting past her nerves and is really jumping in. She did her first solo back float last weekend. We were so proud of her. She'd been very resistant to it. Looks like she'll be moving up to the next level. Yay! Our goal is to keep them enrolled throughout the year. We'll see how it works out.

Nathan has been growing and changing quickly these days. He no longer has that baby face. He is truly a little boy now. He is still using his charm to get what he wants. He's finding that it doesn't work as much as it has in the past. Time to lay down the law a bit more. :)

The little man uses any and every opportunity he has to get into the forbidden and/or make a mess. He takes advantage of mom's potty breaks and knows when the laundry bell or the phone rings. In a flash, he takes off and tries to complete his mission. He keeps me hopping! Sydney wasn't this mischievous, but she's catching up. Add the two of them together and our little neighbor, Sydney, and it is a complete and utter mess!

Last night, Sydney C. came to play and have dinner with us. While Marc was washing the dishes, I went upstairs to check on the kids. They were happily playing house in the playroom. I went back downstairs, started drying and after about six minutes, we heard water. NEVER GOOD! Marc and I bolted upstairs and found the bathroom door locked. When we opened the door we found Sydney T., naked, laughing hysterically, Sydney C., naked, laughing hysterically while perched in one of the double sinks and Nathan, in his underwear, sitting in the other sink throwing water by the cupful all over the bathroom and the girls. There was at least an inch of water on the floor. Good grief. We couldn't help but laugh. I was just amazed at how quickly they move.

If the mess left behind wasn't enough, while drying the girls off, I discovered that they had colored their eyelids with markers. When asked why they said, "We are going to a party, silly." There you have it. I'm the silly one. Oh and you don't want your make up to fade so we used real markers, not washable ones. Sigh. This is just another day at the office.

Speaking of office, my firm merged and my position has essentially been phased out entirely. It has been another adjustment for me. It has been hard in many ways, but easier in others. It is hard to explain, but it has been difficult.

The kids and I have been visiting a local church for the last month. So far, I'm quite happy there. I'm still finding my way, but I enjoy going and so do the kids. So, I figure that is a start. I'll just wait to see how things play out.

I hope to check in again soon, but who knows? :)

Behind

I guess I should just accept the fact that I don't have the time to post daily or sometimes even weekly to this. Yet it bothers me. I want to remember what happened! I have the worst memory.

I'm behind in just about everything these days. Behind in: blogging, photos, organizing, laundry, projects and others. I guess I am happy that I am not behind in my bills. :) That would not be good.

I'm still here. I'm still stalking here and there.

One day I'll get back. For now, I'm just floating along. :)

I'm a Pansy!

Yep, that's right I said it. I am brutal when it comes to getting things done, but when it comes to possibly hurting someone's feelings, I run.

I've been going to the gym for a while now, since January. I've really enjoyed it and my swim class (YMCA). At the initial sign up, we were given personal training sessions that were seriously discounted. Marc thought it would be a good idea to sign me up.

Prior to beginning the personal training sessions, I was paired up with a trainer and went to the assessment. Now, I try not to make snap judgments about people, but sometimes I just know if I mesh with you right away or not. After about twenty minutes, I realized that I didn't really jive with this chick. I thought it was me at first and decided to keep moving.

Time for the first class. I went and really disliked it. She was a little too negative for me and I needed more encouragment. I know I'm weak. I know. Isn't that why I am here afterall? I don't really need you to keep telling me that. Next thing I know, I cannot walk for four days and I feel terrible about myself. Bleah.

Time for the second class. I feel sick. I don't want to go. I don't want to hear about how I suck. I waffle for two weeks over it. "I'm going." Wait. "No, I'm not." So, I chicken out and cancel. Then, I want to avoid the gym because she might be there. Not good.

Finally, after numerous conversations with Marc, I grew a pair and told her that I wanted to rotate through the trainers so that I can get "different perspectives." Honestly, I am hoping for someone a little bit nicer!

Why is that I am so concerned about her feelings when she wasn't concerned about mine?

Tonight, I'm meeting another trainer. I'm closing my eyes and hoping for the best. Yes, Mr. Trainer, I'm going to need you to hold my hand and tell me I'm doing a good job. Don't make me HATE going. PLEASE!

Listen Up!

Yahoo! It is Friday! The sun is shining. It really is just beautiful outside. I don't know where to start. There is so much to do and so much I WANT to do. Hmmm...the pull.

I took little Maddy to the vet the day before and before going, I had yet ANOTHER chat with Sydney about how to behave in public. Then, very sternly, I told her that she would be spending the afternoon in her room if she misbehaved while we were out.

So, off we went to the vet's office. Poor little Maddy was shaking like a little leaf and Syd wanted to be in charge of holding the leash. She's quite good at it now so, I let her after we got inside. The fun began. "Sit here, please. I will fill out this quick form and I will find you an activity." I said very nicely. Ha! Not! Before I knew it, Syd was egging her brother up a very tall flight of stairs, which I am guessing led to their administrative offices. Who knows? So, I collect the dog, Nathan and the giggling Sydney and we start over.

After a few minutes, we were joined by another little patient. The kids rushed over to ask if they could pet the puppy and after the Owners agreed, they plopped up next to them, one on each side and reached across. This elderly couple, thankfully, didn't mind that my kids were essentially in their laps. So, I just let them.

After a while we were called into the exam room. I had to pry Madison out from under a pew bench. Yes, the vet has pews. It is 'St. Francis Animal Hospital' and I thought it was cute. We go inside and the vet tech came in, weighed Madison, etc. Then, Syd announces that she needs to go potty. Of course, little ones have the BEST timing when it comes to such things. I turned to the vet tech and she nodded that it was okay. So, out I went with Syd and Nate in tow.

I'm not sure what happened in the bathroom. I put her in the one toilet bathroom and reminded her of the checklist and waited outside the door. Whatever happened in those two minutes must have been amazing because she literally came out bouncing and quite loud. Oh boy. Here we go.

Back to the exam room we went. I'm sorry to say that I only caught every third word the vet tech was saying because Sydney started yelling and hitting her brother in an effort to retrieve her colored pencil. "Excuse me." I said politely to the tech and then turned around with the Mommy Face. You know the one. The one that conveys a very serious message without saying a word. Eyes got big and a hush came over the two. Whew! After an apology, the tech went back to ya da ya da ya da and yes, that is what it sounded like to me because I could hear the previously stifled disagreement start to gurgle again and I was holding my breath.

Before I could turn this time, I heard the click of a door knob. Sydney and Nathan had called a temporary truce and decided they needed to leave the exam room to play with any animals that might be in the waiting room. Madison, of course, took the opportunity to leap off the exam table and try to make a grand escape. Is this the part where I melt into the floor? No. Unfortunately, I haven't learned that trick yet, but I've been practicing a lot lately.

Sydney's shenanigans continued through the exam and were escalated during checkout. I had to do the boneless kid drag. Yes, you know the one where you say, "Go here" and they refuse. So, you take their hand in an effort to assist them to your desired location. Nope! Then they crumble to the floor and you find yourself dragging the child in the direction while they scream bloody murder that you are hurting them. *Sigh* Yes, this was our first visit to this vet. I'm sure we made a loverly impression.

So, I kept my cool until we got to the car. I knew that opening my mouth would only make things worse. I buckled Syd into her seat and calmly said, "I hope that was worth it." She looked befuddled. In fact I think I got a straight "DUH" face reaction. I explained that she had behaved outrageously, had numerous warnings and now, rather than go visit Grandma Sebrina's new dog, she was going to spend an afternoon in her room. She didn't look bothered, at the moment.

So, I called my mom and explained that we would have to pass on the afternoon visit because I had serious mommy business to attend to that afternoon. I took the kids home, fed them lunch and then excused Sydney to her room. She went reluctantly.

The first hour or so she was quiet and then, the pleas started. I responded with a flat "Nope." So the afternoon continued with Sydney making pleas for her release, but I made her stay in her room until her father came home, which was sadly about six hours. He was quite late that night. On one hand, I felt terrible. I had never intended that, but I was afraid to let her out because I was worried it might be perceived as a give in. So, I stuck to my word.

As soon as Marc's key turned in the door, she raced downstairs. She was sooo excited and went promptly to the dinner table. I asked if she had fun and she gave me a very emphatic "Uh-uh." So, we'll see what happens. I think we will head out today at some point for a test.

I truly hope it worked because I'm sooooooo tired of being embarrassed everywhere I go. This is a fairly small place. I see the same people when I go places. I don't want people cringing whenever they see us coming. Ya know?

On that note, I'm signing off. Here's to peaceful trips to the grocery store. Yes, even something that simple would make me happy.

One Book Down

Okay, so I went to the library last week and hunted for a few books that were recommended. Oddly enough, they only had one of the four and I grabbed that one and put another on "order" from the other library.

I started my journey with 'The Irresistable Revolution' by Shane Claiborne. I picked the book up on a Thursday afternoon and was halfway through it by bedtime. I was fascinated by this man, his life, his beliefs and his work. I was so inspired by his excitement and I could just feel his emotion jumping off the pages. When I finished the book the next day, I was excited and confused all at the same time. By the way, who knew I could read so quickly or that I had so many moments to sneak in reading. I literally was standing over a pot, stirring and reading. Crazy!

I was hoping for a "how to" or instructions somewhere in his book, but they weren't there. Not exactly. The most prominent messages I got from the novel were: 1) God can be found in everything; 2) small things done with great love is how change happens; and 3) if you don't fit in, find your own place. I know I couldn't make the changes he's made in his life and I did think about how I could serve my community. A few ideas came to mind, but nothing shouted at me. Not yet at least.

This is going to be harder than I thought. I really just wanted the answer to fall in my lap. Obviously, I knew it wasn't going to be that easy, which is why I've put it off for so long. So, I am moving ahead.

Jess G. brought a few books to my home, one happens to be one that I requested from the other library. Lee Strobel's 'The Case for Christ' is on my nightstand right now. I read the first bit last night, but found I was so exhausted I couldn't get very far. I also noticed that, so far, there are many biblical references and biblical discussions that I don't understand because I haven't studied the Bible and am unfamiliar with it. I'm wondering if it might be a good idea to pull my Bible out (Yes, I have one! A dear friend gave it to me when I got married and despite my views, I've held onto it all these years. Maybe I knew I would pick it up someday). If anyone has read the book, throw me your opinion. I find the Bible quite intimidating, for many reasons, and am not sure if it would help to read the referenced parts. I have gotten quite a bit just from inference.

Well, I'm off to hit the hay.